Our home, our United Arab Emirates

Hello and welcome to on the sofa with British Mums, I’m Emma, and I’m joined by Jen and Lauren for a gentle team chat after what has been an unsettling week here in the region and the place we call home. 

We’re not here to give advice or tell anyone how they should feel, just to share our own experiences as mums, members of this community, and to let you know that if you’ve felt wobbly, you are absolutely not alone.

We talk about the incredibly kind, thoughtful messages we’ve seen in the British Mums group. The way you’ve checked in on each other, offered calm reassurance, and created a safe space for mums to be honest about how they’re feeling has been genuinely moving, and a powerful reminder of what community really means.

We reflect on how important it is to have somewhere you can come, exhale, and feel understood, especially when the outside world feels a bit uncertain. This episode is not about headlines (Thank Goodness)  it’s about hearts, connection, and that quiet “I get it” between mums.

As a small gesture back to this incredible community, we’ve decided that, for the rest of March, every Friday will be #FreebieFriday a chance to spotlight and support small businesses, side hustles, and passion projects within our group. It’s our way of spreading a little extra love, visibility, and positivity at a time when it really matters.

Think of this episode as a message of care and solidarity from our sofa to yours, something to pop on while you tidy up, walk the dog, or just sit and breathe for a moment, and hopefully know that we care. 

https://britishmums.com/dubai/

For anonymous posts or support from the team, please email support@britishmums.com

#you're-a-part-of-this

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Hello and welcome to On the Football with British Mamma. My name is Emma, and today I am joined by Jen and Lauren for a gentle future after what has been an unfettling weekend in the region and the place that we call. We are not here to give advice or tell anyone how they should feel, but just to share our own experiences with moments, members of this community, and to let you know that if you felt wobbly, you are not alone. We talk about the incredibly kind, thoughtful messages we've seen in the British Mummy group. The way you've checked in on each other and offered calm reassurance and created a safe way for the mums to be honest about how their feeling has been genuinely moving, and a powerful reminder of what the community really needs. We reflect on how important it is to have somebody who can come, exhale, and feel understood, especially when the outside world feels a bit uncertain. This episode is not about headlines, thank goodness. It's about hearts, the connection, and the quiet. I get it, between months. As a small gesture back to this incredible community, we've decided that for the rest of March, every Friday will be Freebriday. A chance to spotlight and support small businesses, side hustles, and passion projects within our group. It's just our way of spreading a little extra love, visibility, and positivity at a time when we really need it. Think of this episode as a message of care and solidarity from our sofa to yours. Something to pop on while you tidy up, walk the dog, or just sit and breathe for a moment. So hopefully you know that you really are a part of this now. Hello and welcome to season three, episode 13 of On the Sofa with British Mums. First and foremost, we hope that this podcast finds you safe and somewhat relaxed. We decided to join together as a team today to reach out to the community and make sure that you guys are all okay and make sure that you know that we are thinking of you. Now, today's podcast is obviously a little bit unplanned. We did actually have other guests lined up, but it felt wrong for us to talk about anything other than the current situation. So please know that this episode is just a reflection of our personal feelings. It is not us giving advice, we are just letting you know how we feel as mums, how we feel as a team, and we just wanted to extend those feelings out to the community so that you know that you aren't alone. And joining me from the British Mum's Dream Team, I have got the gorgeous Lauren and Jen. Hello ladies! Yes! How are we? We're good, we're okay. Tired but wired?

SPEAKER_02 2:45

Tired but wired. Tired. Very, very surreal feelings over the last week or so. But feeling okay, and it feels really nice that we can be together this morning.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

So I feel very grateful to be here this morning. We've got some pastries on the kitchen island. The kids are playing outside on a pool float at the moment, so let's see who falls in first. Um, and yeah, just really grateful to be part of a team that's sort of looking after everybody here. So we're just going to talk a little bit about our feelings and just say how we've dealt with the last week, things that we've seen on the group that we're really liking, and some ways that we're going to make sure that you guys as a community feel like you're part of it. Um so, Lauren, you were just saying just a second ago about some of the posts that you've seen on the group this week, some of the ways that you felt like the community had supported each other.

SPEAKER_01 3:26

Yeah, I think, I mean, I think we said this during COVID as well. Um, we said it during the floods. We literally get to see the best of humanity on rich mums when these things happen, and it's awful that they're happening. Um, but literally our community is so strong, and they are rallying and pulling together, and the support from mums who have never met each other, don't know each other, that they're giving to other mums, especially you know, kind of our long-term expats, you know, the mums that have been here 20-30 years compared to the mums that are maybe only here in the last couple of years.

SPEAKER_00 3:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:59

Like there was um someone quoted this on the someone posted this on the group the other day, and it was a quote that said, you know, we're all in the same boat, but we're all on different journeys, and I think that just really sums up what we're all going through. We're all in the same situation, but how you're feeling and how Jen's feeling, it's completely different to how I might be feeling on any given day, on any given hour. Oh, and it is hour by hour at the moment, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 4:25

It's completely new, it's completely unprecedented. Like, we don't know really how long this is going to go on for, so everyone's just feeling a little bit, I don't know, a mix of anxiety, worry, but also I think a lot of people do generally feel very safe here at the same time. It's like it's a bit of a roller coaster of emotions, and yeah, like Lauren was saying, with you know, people rallying around, you know, there's a lot of people that have joined British Mums that aren't actually living here yet as well, that are due to be moving over, and I think you know, even they've been reaching out to kind of get a bit of a sense of what it's really like on the ground here, and you know, I can only imagine like people that are debating whether or not they still move over, and I think that some people are still like we know Dubai's going to be the best place for us as a family in the long term, it's just kind of getting through this period of uncertainty.

SPEAKER_00 5:19

Um so yeah, I think something that's really uh struck for me as talking to my friends in the UK or my family in the UK is trying to describe that that feeling of I and I often say this in in many walks of life two things can be true at once.

SPEAKER_01 5:34

Yes, yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 5:35

So it's you know, I actually have utter faith in our government to keep us safe and do the best thing. And you know, the shelves are stocked, and the uh the drivers, bless the delivery drivers, are still out and they're doing their job, and they're you know, everybody's keeping it running, and all of those things can be true. I can feel safe, I can feel that level of trust, but I can still feel like I'm sort of a bit uncertain, unsure, not unsafe, is one of the things that one of my friends said on an Instagram story the other day. Don't feel unsafe, maybe a bit unsure, it is day by day, and I do think that people are having kind of like different ways of coping with it. So some people are saying, you know what, I was going home in spring break, I do want to go home, I want to go back to the UK for a bit. And then other people just go, No, I I want to be here, I want to be in my house, in my home with my things, and and that's how I'm dealing with it. So I think, and something that British Month does very, very well, and I think it's something that we do as a community, and we constantly need to remind ourselves you can't judge anybody's actions based on your own feelings, you have to let them do their own.

SPEAKER_02 6:36

I think all of us as a team, you know, it I'd say the majority of us are staying in the UAE for the moment or bringing holiday plans that we would have had forward a little bit because of the spring break, which makes absolute sense, and you know, it all depends on your own circumstances, like you know, as a family we've debated. My husband's just started a new job, which he's working from home for the first week and hasn't actually met his team yet. Well, that must be surreal. It is a bit surreal, it is a bit surreal. Um, you know, there's lots of changes that are going on as a company there as well, and then he's like, Well, what about if you and um Soph go back to the UK for a bit? I'm like, Well, I also don't really want to be separated at the moment either. I think you know we either go with the family on holiday somewhere or we just stay put and I feel safer in my house and staying here for the moment. Um, you know, I'd rather do that. And then I think we were talking about someone whoever put a post out just talking about things that we're doing day to day. I like what are the mundane things? It kind of makes you appreciate the smaller things, so it's actually been quite nice spending more time together as a family, and you know, Carl generally travels quite a lot with actually being home. You know, it's been quite nice not having to sit in traffic so much. I wonder when sourdough's gonna start. When do you think people are gonna move? Well, I think people are baking, you know, it definitely got some COVID vibes, it does, totally does. However, we're still able to be out and about and see each other, which is amazing. So yeah, and I think just that sense of I don't know, even when you're going out, like taking the dog for a walk, people are a bit more, oh you know, hi there's a bigger sense of community, isn't it? Yeah, there is that sense of like we're all in it together, and that's a really nice feeling. So yeah, you don't feel alone. Whereas COVID, I think you know, having that social distancing and not being able to get out of your house, like whereas you know, at least at the moment we can be yeah, we can come together, we can be a community. You know, taking the precautions that you need to take, but it's it just feels nice, and yeah, just appreciating the smaller things, you know.

SPEAKER_00 8:39

Yeah, no, that was a nice post. I also like the ones that people are doing at the moment for small businesses because obviously we know that those are the the first businesses to really feel it. Yeah, yeah. Um we've got lots of right, and I think it's nice. Uh somebody put up a post the other day and tagged a few and then said, please tag yourself underneath, and that was really lovely. And then so, you know, some of these businesses that maybe have only just opened up and they're really trying to get off the ground and and it relies on us, you know, shopping small and doing those things. Um, so it's nice seeing that support across the across the group constantly for little small businesses and you know, things like tipping delivery drivers extra or little moments of like you know, when the cracks, the cracks let the sun through kind of thing. Yeah, even though it's imperfect, it does sometimes when you see these moments of wobbliness, actually you see little bits of light coming through, which I think is really important, it's really special. Yeah, it is, um it does feel like home, it's funny, isn't it? Because it's quite often I think it's quite a transient place. And me and my husband definitely we talk quite a lot about like, is this forever? Where do we go next? What are we doing? You know, like things like that. And actually, this has made me go, oh no, I'm you like it.

SPEAKER_02 9:55

This is what I mean. I think, yeah, you know, it's good to to think obviously it's short term and long term about you know what you want to do when the kids are older and things like that, but yeah, I think we feel probably more protective of the UAE, especially certain ways that it's been portrayed in kind of UK media, which I don't think is necessarily a true reflection. I don't think so at all. And it's actually been a bit quite sad some of the headlines that have come out of the UK to be honest. Yeah, absolutely. I'm kind of bullying British expats and expats generally, which I think is really unfair. So, stories like that, you know, it makes me feel like yes, I'm British, and the UK is where I was born and lived a long time. However, on reflection, I feel very defensive, and I'm like, well, no, the UAE is actually doing an amazing job, and yeah, and like you say, it's our home, and yeah, I do I feel more protective of like a pride, yeah, yeah, a sense of pride. I think there's so much going on behind the scenes that we don't even know about. Um, but uh you know, like we said, I've got true faith that the UA is doing everything it can. I agree, yeah. Yeah, I think it's just a bit unfair how certain media places are portraying what's going on.

SPEAKER_01 11:09

Yeah, I completely agree, and it's just it's something that has wound me up quite a lot, and actually I've had to kind of take a bit of a breath sometimes before getting too emotional.

SPEAKER_00 11:19

This is your shows you like the power of what media does, but when I agree, yeah, you know, and then when you're on the other side and you're hearing it, it's like, well, that just isn't true, and you know, it's just sweeping statements that are just there to get also sharing untruths, and I think it's actually I think that's something that we do have to be really, really clear that we say is that we we can't be sharing untrue media, we shouldn't be sharing around videos, we should be listening to the advice of the government, which is only look to your official news sources, only look to the official sources to get any of your information because otherwise you get this hearsay thing and it creates a sense of panic, which is the opposite of what we need. So it is, and the laws here are really strictly. And the laws here are really strict, and so we we have to adhere to them and we have to say actually, no, this is respect and this is how we stay safe, this is how we stay informed, and you know, staying away from that kind of um what's the what's the word, sensationalist newspaper vibe coming out of the UK.

SPEAKER_02 12:15

Yeah, I think that's one thing with the group is like you know, people are being really great about saying, you know, if someone's put something you know in the group that's maybe gonna cause a bit of panic, people like you need to have that verified, and yeah, other people are kind of quick to make sure that that's happening too.

SPEAKER_00 12:34

So the other thing I was thinking about is like just just putting a word out there sort of really of gratitude to to various people in the community is is teachers as well, having to jump on online learning last week.

SPEAKER_01 12:47

It was the same as COVID, like I've just felt like teachers just absolutely saved us all.

SPEAKER_00 12:53

Now I had to I had to do the online learning thing during COVID, uh online teaching thing, and it's much, much harder than people realise. You have to do asynchronised lessons, which means you have to go completely out of what you might have been doing, jump in with something different, knowing all the while that that that the path, the learning path of the children still has to be maintained, and it is really, really difficult. And it's really difficult when you've got 27 little faces on a zoom screen, 17 of which might have really big feelings, yeah, and you're a safe space for them. And so they wanna they want to offload on you, and but you also have to protect the the other children in the group who maybe don't know as much, maybe their parents have decided to to navigate it in a slightly different way, or the narrative is slightly you know different, and so they're having to juggle all of that at the same time as maybe having their own children at home, or maybe pets at home, or family that are worried. So I have massive respect for teachers having to jump in and do that, and I think that we all need to be reminded to be kind to people having to do that really last minute because it's hard, and also kids that are trying to study for GCSEs, yeah. That's another hard one.

SPEAKER_02 13:59

They're the kids that have are going to remember the times in Covid as well. Absolutely. Whereas I think you know, for some of our children's ages, they don't really remember that. So, but then I guess we've got some really good learnings from those times, which means we have been able to just implement distance learning really quickly. Yes. And obviously, now we've got the spring break which has been brought forward, so you know at least there's a little bit of respite now, but it's that's one of those odd things.

SPEAKER_00 14:26

And I I think um again something that I I try and say to the girls all the time before they open their mouths or or write anything down, is and it's something that I think we should again remember on the group all the time is if you're gonna say something, ask yourself three things. Is it kind? Is it true? Is it helpful? And if it's none of those three things or isn't all of them, don't say it.

SPEAKER_01 14:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:49

Don't say it, which I think is something that we've seen really, really just wonderful, lovely, bright things said, and I hope that we can continue that as a community. Um, I know that a lot of people have put some really fantastic resources on the group as well, like free webinars about breath control and things that they can do to reach out. I know that um Donna from The Entertainer put out an absolutely beautiful video, and I that was really moving, and I know that they're planning on doing some stuff to make sure that we're supporting the the service industries that need that are gonna need a boost after this.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

I agree because you know, we we all love the UAU, there's absolutely no doubt we're all behind it, but it needs to keep going and it needs to keep thriving, and if anything, if you're comfortable doing any of that that can help that, then you know that's how this community is gonna, and this is how our country is gonna rebuild essentially and you know become back stronger. So yeah, I love Dana's message out.

SPEAKER_00 15:43

And in a strange way, I mean it's Ramadan, which is I it's one of those months where I go, gosh, you know, this this peaceful month and we're going through all this. It should be about so much more. It should be about so much more. But something I have seen is like there's a bakery down the end of our road that is giving out um iftar bags, lovely. Which is really lovely, and that but they're also doing it for drivers that are coming and picking up things like that. So you are just seeing these little glimmers of hope, and I I just hope that we can all hold on to that as a as a community. But uh above all, I guess the message from the the British Mums team to the community is that we're all in this together. We really, really care about you guys. Um, we hope that you're feeling safe. We hope that you can find a safe space in your head where you can relax. Um, and please know that you can always reach out to the team. If you want to post anonymously, there is an anonymous email. What is it, guys? It's support at BritishMums.com. Support at BritishMums.com. Now, obviously, just to really quickly um address, I think, the nicknames situation because this is obviously uh an ever-changing um thing that as a team we're having to handle day by day.

SPEAKER_02 16:49

Yeah, well, I think Lauren, you'd put a post out before everything started before all of this happened in kind of mid-February. So Facebook made changes which allow people to post as a nickname, so you can be Sunny Mango or Chica Capybara. You know, there's some there's some funny ones that are out there. However, it was becoming more and more people were doing this, and we felt that a lot of the people that were commenting under a nickname maybe wouldn't have done that necessarily if they were posting as themselves. Yes. And you know, a lot of the anonymous posts that didn't really need to be anonymous posts, and we just felt those nicknames are kind of taken away from the state. From the sincerity, yes, yeah, and so yeah, so Lauren, you put a post out, didn't you?

SPEAKER_01 17:38

Yeah, and I think because I think that's what British Mums is built on, right? Trust, support, mums helping other mums, genuine memory, genuine, yeah, and it was just it was starting to lose that, and then everything started, and you know, the situation changed, and we as a you know community have to be aware that you know there maybe now is a need for some nickname posts to go out, so we can't have to be sensitive to that.

SPEAKER_02 18:01

Yeah, and I think yeah, taking it on a case by case basically. I think that's fair. So right now it's case by case. It is case by case. So now there will be a comment if someone has posted under a nickname and we feel that warrants it to be under a nickname and anonymous, then we will put a post a comment beneath to say this has been read by an admin and we approve this. Yes, and I think that's fair enough.

SPEAKER_01 18:23

Anonymous replies as well.

SPEAKER_00 18:25

And then we can always re-review when everything calms down in the future and and move from there.

SPEAKER_02 18:30

But we won't, you know, tolerate anyone that's just being unkind, basically. You know, if you don't adhere to the rules of the community group, you know, the very essence of what British Mums is about, then you know, if you can't say anything nice, don't say it at all. It's pretty simple.

SPEAKER_00 18:43

And and what is the anonymous email that we so it's support at BritishMums.com. So you can still reach out to the team if you don't want to use a nickname, you can still reach out to the team and email us, there'll be somebody that can put it on. And if you feel like you're alone or you feel like you need support, please do reach out. That is what the community is supposed to be about because we can either help directly or send you in the direction of somebody that can.

SPEAKER_02 19:05

And it also means you know, people emailing in. There's also you know, connections that we have that we might be able to sign point people to that you know, at least we're seeing it, and we can we know who that anonymous poster is, so it's exactly you know looking after that person.

SPEAKER_01 19:20

You know, we we've got a great team, and you know, sometimes someone might send something that's an anonymous post that doesn't really need to be anonymous, and it could be about, for example, the drive from you know one community to a school, and it doesn't need to be an anonymous post, but within the team we can answer that. So, you know, if you're emailing in, we're not you we can still come back to you and help you with that answer, yeah, and it just doesn't need to go on the group as an anonymous post, um, and then the anonymous posts stay for the things that really do need to be anonymous, people can see that and they realise that's when they can get involved and that's when they can help others.

SPEAKER_02 19:54

Yes, absolutely. And we do rely on members to kind of help us out as well, you know. Yes, if you see something that you don't think is right, let us let a member of Admin know because we can't catch everything.

SPEAKER_00 20:04

No, we can't know, and we're only human.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

Engagement's been really high with everything going on as well. And I mean you're talking like 150, 200 posts a day sometimes, plus all the plus comments, absolutely. So we don't always get to see everything immediately, and if things are getting posted, you know, a bit later at night and we're asleep, and yeah, you know, and obviously people are kind of also online in the UK too.

SPEAKER_00 20:28

Yes, and yeah, so it's around the clock thing. Well, listen, I'm gonna finish up by just by saying and just reflecting on this whole thing. I can't imagine having done the last few days without British Mums. I can't imagine having done from last Saturday without the support of the group, without the support of the team, and without the support of the community. And so just a moment of gratitude for every single person that's in the community that's making sure that we uphold that. Um, again, we will post all the information below about how you can reach out to us guys. Um, but more than anything, um, there is just a lot of love from the British Munster team to the community, and you guys are a part of this now. Mamas, thank you so much for being here today. We cannot tell you how much it means. And this episode comes with a heartfelt gratitude to all of you and everyone in the UAE that is still making this place the most wonderful place to call home. You are listening.